[ Wuxian let's out a breath, easier than before, by the time Wangji stops pushing energy into him. He hears the question and plea in Lan Zhan's voice and it tugs at his heart in a strange way. It's enough of a distraction that even Fairy's close proximity isn't enough to keep him from smiling at his friend, a hand moving to rest on one of Wangji's wrists as he nods.
Then he turns his attention back to his nephew at the question and he reaches his free hand out to rest on Jin Ling's arm- very carefully still ignoring Fairy. ]
[ He lets the touch rest there- a single point of allowed proximity and comfort. It makes his heart stutter, tripping over itself, but his face is impassive as ever. He gives a small nod, and then stands, abruptly feeling like an intruder several minutes after the fact.
He glanced at Jin Ling, waiting to see if the boy had anything else to ask of him, or if he should take his leave. He didn’t want to - he didn’t want to leave Wei Ying’s side at all - but his relationship with his nephew was important, and he didn’t want to take time from them when they had it. ]
[Jin Ling blinks as Hanguang-Jun suddenly and inexplicably stands up. He doesn't understand it. They've only just gotten Wei Wuxian stable, and Jin Ling still doesn't know what the problem was, so he's not sure why Hanguang-Jun thinks he'll be able to handle it on his own.
Even if he can, Hanguang-Jun's presence obviously soothes his uncle, and if they're not all three going somewhere, Jin Ling doesn't understand where his teacher is going.] Teacher? [He studies Hanguang-Jun's impassive face, trying to get some clue about what's going on.]
[ When Wangji stands up, Wuxian's arm follows as he tightens his hold on his friend's wrist. He sighs quietly, not quite looking up at Wangji, though he directs his words to him. ]
Lan Zhan...I know you're- [ angry, hurt, upset ]
...You don't have to leave. [ He doesn't want Wangji to leave, but does that matter anymore? Finally he carefully looks up, a bit of hesitance in his eyes. ]
[ He wasn’t expecting the question or the the request - especially not after the callous, uncaring version of Wei Ying he had been overseeing in the meantime. His expression melted a little, between the two of them. He has no real idea what they were doing before he was summoned, what their purpose was, or-
Or, well, why Wei Ying hadn’t summoned him himself.
So though he remains standing, he doesn’t move away. He’ll stay if they wish him to. ]
[Jin Ling peers up at him, trying to understand what's going on. Hanguang-Jun is acting weird, and Jin Ling doesn't know how to knock sense back into him.] What's going on? Did you two have a fight or something? What's wrong with him? [He means Wei Wuxian.] Why are you leaving, like I'm supposed to be able to handle whatever this is on my own?
[ Not letting go. He'll just let himself look absurd with one arm over his head unless Lan Zhan sits back down beside him. And while he's talking to his nephew, he's still looking up at Wangji. ]
Aah...Jin Ling...You weren't the only one affected...I've been pretty horrible to Lan Zhan...
[He sighs, because the two of them are only focused on each other even while conversing with him, and Jin Ling feels very much like he's watching something intimate. The awkwardness and discomfort itches under his skin, making him feel like he's going to burst with his muddled desires to help resolve what's making them upset and his desire to be somewhere where people will pay attention to him.]
UGH, would you stop... stop...
[He gets to his feet in a little flurry of indignant emotions, because he can't take this anymore and he can't just SIT HERE while Wei Wuxian is doing these self-pitying guilty longing gazes and Hanguang-Jun is doing these angsty guilty stormclouds.]
Would you just FUCK already so you can both stop being like this???
[Unless stopped, he's going to go ahead and storm off, because he absolutely does not want his uncle to tell him ha-ha Jin Ling you still have that crazy idea about me?
It's too bad that those shadow things are gone now because he REALLY wants to pincushion something full of arrows right now.]
[ Wangji doesn’t stop him. He doesn’t even silence spell him for his outburst. Outwardly, he doesn’t seem particularly effected - as if the words just glide pass and off him.
Inwardly, he wishes the world would slow down and let him get off, for a while. ]
Follow him.
[ He gently pulls his arm free of Wei Ying’s grasp. ]
[ Well that gets Jin Ling a reaction! And that being a startled look and yes. A bit of a blush.
But then his nephew's up to his feet and leaving!
Wuxian scrambles to his feet even as Wangji tells him to follow Jin Ling. He runs after his nephew, reaching for a wrist to get the boy to slow down after they're out of Wangji's sight. ]
I'm sorry! Jin Ling...I just don't like it when he's upset with me.
[ Not exactly denying anything his nephew's said but also...not...talking about it. ]
Yeah! I know! [Jin Ling whirls on him, glaring up at his uncle.] Did you not hear what I just said? I know. It's obvious. When he's upset with you, you can't think about anything else. I barely exist.
Honestly, even when he's not upset with you it's like no one else exists. It's like a magnet. [He holds up his finger and then moves it from side to side in his uncle's field of vision.] Where's Hanguang-Jun? Just follow Wei Wuxian's line of sight. [In Jin Ling's typical ability to handle his emotions, he's simultaneously enraged and fragile, wanting to burst into tears.]
So why are you bothering with me right now? He's upset. I have other uncles. Maybe I'll go find one who will actually look at me while they're talking to me.
[ When Jin Ling whirls on him, he immediately backs up a step, letting go and lifts hands up in mute surrender. Wei Ying does at least look apologetic. ]
...I called you first, Jin Ling. I didn't call him.
I hate it when people I care about are upset with me. [ He's well aware of just how close Fairy is, but for once...he blocks her from his mind.
[Jin Ling tightens his jaw, glaring away down the street and struggling over what he wants to say.] You should have called him first. You needed help. You needed him, and you should have just called him in the first place.
Which of us is the adult here? I came to find you, but all I ended up doing that helped was calling him.
What is wrong with you? You weren't like this before. It's like you're... all shell, but also just emotionally bleeding everywhere, and you're not... you're not... you were an authority figure that I trusted, but now you're just ... broken.
[All of this has spilled out of Jin Ling without a thought, and it's not until he gets to the last word that he realizes what he's said and how merciless it is. He shuts his mouth immediately.]
[Jin Ling wavers at that emotional blow, feeling gutted by it. Maybe he deserves that, but it wasn't even an attack. It's just Wei Wuxian turning his pain in on himself again and hurting everyone else in the process.
Why are adults so stupid?
Jin Ling takes two steps after him and grabs his uncle's arm roughly.] That's fucking it? You're just going to brush me off and shut me out?
[He gets his emotional coping skills from his uncle. You just yell a lot, the person you love yells back, maybe threaten some violence that you'll never make good on, and then you both get it out and move on.]
I'm hurt because you aren't paying attention to me, so you're just going to cut me out of your life entirely.
No. No, that's not it. It's not paying attention to me. It's the... the shell and the blood.
I can see that you're emotionally bleeding, but you just keep putting more layers on that shell, and all the while you're bleeding out the cracks and I can't get through this fucking wall. [He gives Wei Wuxian a rough shove to the center of his chest.
This is what you get when you have a highly emotional and empathetic teenager with only Jiang Cheng's ability to communicate.]
[ Wei Ying stops when Jin Ling grabs his arm, but doesn't fully turn back to him. Just turns his head enough to show he's listening.
He shakes his head sharply, taking a very careful breath in an attempt to remain outwardly calm. He's not like Jiang Cheng, always so angry and shouting at other people.
Eventually he turns his arm so he can grasp his nephew's at the elbow, only to be shoved back a couple steps. Not down, as he would have without a golden core. But back. He doesn't strike back though, only studies Jin Ling with that unnatural calm. ]
I don't want to cut you out. I want to get to know you. I want to spend time with you.
...I don't want to hurt you, but that seems to be all I'm doing here. I don't even know if I can heal. [ He winces slightly, not having meant to verbalize that admission. ]
You say that, but then you keep trying to cut yourself out of my life every time one of us so much as breathes wrong. That's what hurts.
[Fairy whines, hesitating back a few steps because she can tell that he's upset but doesn't know how to protect him. Jin Ling doesn't even look at her.] Fairy, sit.
[He takes a step closer to his uncle, stepping inside of a polite comfort zone space, but his demeanor has changed from fight to hug, though he doesn't yet touch.]
I know you can heal. Ugh, you're stupid. I'm from your future, remember? I know you can be fixed because I've seen a version of you that isn't like this.
[He crumples a little, reaching for his uncle and tucking his head onto Wei Wuxian's shoulder as he starts to cry. Today has been absolutely exhausting, and somehow Jin Ling just keeps managing to make everything worse.]
Let me help. Or let him help.
[A shaky sob, as Jin Ling's hands fist tight around the front of his uncle's robes.]
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Date: 2020-02-24 05:44 am (UTC)Then he turns his attention back to his nephew at the question and he reaches his free hand out to rest on Jin Ling's arm- very carefully still ignoring Fairy. ]
You already have, Jin Ling. Thank you.
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Date: 2020-02-24 10:59 am (UTC)He glanced at Jin Ling, waiting to see if the boy had anything else to ask of him, or if he should take his leave. He didn’t want to - he didn’t want to leave Wei Ying’s side at all - but his relationship with his nephew was important, and he didn’t want to take time from them when they had it. ]
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Date: 2020-02-24 12:14 pm (UTC)Even if he can, Hanguang-Jun's presence obviously soothes his uncle, and if they're not all three going somewhere, Jin Ling doesn't understand where his teacher is going.] Teacher? [He studies Hanguang-Jun's impassive face, trying to get some clue about what's going on.]
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Date: 2020-02-25 02:25 am (UTC)Lan Zhan...I know you're- [ angry, hurt, upset ]
...You don't have to leave. [ He doesn't want Wangji to leave, but does that matter anymore? Finally he carefully looks up, a bit of hesitance in his eyes. ]
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Date: 2020-02-25 04:48 am (UTC)Or, well, why Wei Ying hadn’t summoned him himself.
So though he remains standing, he doesn’t move away. He’ll stay if they wish him to. ]
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Date: 2020-02-25 05:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-25 05:44 am (UTC)Aah...Jin Ling...You weren't the only one affected...I've been pretty horrible to Lan Zhan...
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Date: 2020-02-25 05:55 am (UTC)Yeah. I was horrible to Sizhui.
[He sighs, because the two of them are only focused on each other even while conversing with him, and Jin Ling feels very much like he's watching something intimate. The awkwardness and discomfort itches under his skin, making him feel like he's going to burst with his muddled desires to help resolve what's making them upset and his desire to be somewhere where people will pay attention to him.]
UGH, would you stop... stop...
[He gets to his feet in a little flurry of indignant emotions, because he can't take this anymore and he can't just SIT HERE while Wei Wuxian is doing these self-pitying guilty longing gazes and Hanguang-Jun is doing these angsty guilty stormclouds.]
Would you just FUCK already so you can both stop being like this???
[Unless stopped, he's going to go ahead and storm off, because he absolutely does not want his uncle to tell him ha-ha Jin Ling you still have that crazy idea about me?
It's too bad that those shadow things are gone now because he REALLY wants to pincushion something full of arrows right now.]
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Date: 2020-02-25 06:09 am (UTC)Inwardly, he wishes the world would slow down and let him get off, for a while. ]
Follow him.
[ He gently pulls his arm free of Wei Ying’s grasp. ]
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Date: 2020-02-25 06:15 am (UTC)But then his nephew's up to his feet and leaving!
Wuxian scrambles to his feet even as Wangji tells him to follow Jin Ling. He runs after his nephew, reaching for a wrist to get the boy to slow down after they're out of Wangji's sight. ]
I'm sorry! Jin Ling...I just don't like it when he's upset with me.
[ Not exactly denying anything his nephew's said but also...not...talking about it. ]
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Date: 2020-02-25 06:23 am (UTC)Honestly, even when he's not upset with you it's like no one else exists. It's like a magnet. [He holds up his finger and then moves it from side to side in his uncle's field of vision.] Where's Hanguang-Jun? Just follow Wei Wuxian's line of sight. [In Jin Ling's typical ability to handle his emotions, he's simultaneously enraged and fragile, wanting to burst into tears.]
So why are you bothering with me right now? He's upset. I have other uncles. Maybe I'll go find one who will actually look at me while they're talking to me.
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Date: 2020-02-25 06:52 am (UTC)...I called you first, Jin Ling. I didn't call him.
I hate it when people I care about are upset with me. [ He's well aware of just how close Fairy is, but for once...he blocks her from his mind.
Jin Ling needs his attention. ]
What can I do to make up for it?
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Date: 2020-02-25 07:03 am (UTC)Which of us is the adult here? I came to find you, but all I ended up doing that helped was calling him.
What is wrong with you? You weren't like this before. It's like you're... all shell, but also just emotionally bleeding everywhere, and you're not... you're not... you were an authority figure that I trusted, but now you're just ... broken.
[All of this has spilled out of Jin Ling without a thought, and it's not until he gets to the last word that he realizes what he's said and how merciless it is. He shuts his mouth immediately.]
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Date: 2020-02-25 07:15 am (UTC)So. Jin Rulan would apparently rather have Mo Xuanyu- that version of him as his uncle.
Once again, nothing he does is enough. Except, apparently, dying. But even then, he'd hurt Lan Zhan by doing that. ]
You're right. You deserve to spend time with someone who isn't broken. I'll leave you be.
[ Carefully tucking away the deepening pain and depression, he turns to leave. ]
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Date: 2020-02-25 07:26 am (UTC)Why are adults so stupid?
Jin Ling takes two steps after him and grabs his uncle's arm roughly.] That's fucking it? You're just going to brush me off and shut me out?
[He gets his emotional coping skills from his uncle. You just yell a lot, the person you love yells back, maybe threaten some violence that you'll never make good on, and then you both get it out and move on.]
I'm hurt because you aren't paying attention to me, so you're just going to cut me out of your life entirely.
No. No, that's not it. It's not paying attention to me. It's the... the shell and the blood.
I can see that you're emotionally bleeding, but you just keep putting more layers on that shell, and all the while you're bleeding out the cracks and I can't get through this fucking wall. [He gives Wei Wuxian a rough shove to the center of his chest.
This is what you get when you have a highly emotional and empathetic teenager with only Jiang Cheng's ability to communicate.]
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Date: 2020-02-25 07:49 am (UTC)He shakes his head sharply, taking a very careful breath in an attempt to remain outwardly calm. He's not like Jiang Cheng, always so angry and shouting at other people.
Eventually he turns his arm so he can grasp his nephew's at the elbow, only to be shoved back a couple steps. Not down, as he would have without a golden core. But back. He doesn't strike back though, only studies Jin Ling with that unnatural calm. ]
I don't want to cut you out. I want to get to know you. I want to spend time with you.
...I don't want to hurt you, but that seems to be all I'm doing here. I don't even know if I can heal. [ He winces slightly, not having meant to verbalize that admission. ]
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Date: 2020-02-25 02:35 pm (UTC)[Fairy whines, hesitating back a few steps because she can tell that he's upset but doesn't know how to protect him. Jin Ling doesn't even look at her.] Fairy, sit.
[He takes a step closer to his uncle, stepping inside of a polite comfort zone space, but his demeanor has changed from fight to hug, though he doesn't yet touch.]
I know you can heal. Ugh, you're stupid. I'm from your future, remember? I know you can be fixed because I've seen a version of you that isn't like this.
[He crumples a little, reaching for his uncle and tucking his head onto Wei Wuxian's shoulder as he starts to cry. Today has been absolutely exhausting, and somehow Jin Ling just keeps managing to make everything worse.]
Let me help. Or let him help.
[A shaky sob, as Jin Ling's hands fist tight around the front of his uncle's robes.]
Let people love you, you asshole.